I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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