His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
