giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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