I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
