Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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