Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
