some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
