let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
