That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
