I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This baby is an asshole
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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