You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
