Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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