it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just google imaged poop.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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