I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
