we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
