Soap is not a condiment
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
