It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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