i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
