got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
