i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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