you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Are we still banned from the library?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize