She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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