We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
