Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
