I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
