I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
