worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
