i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
