took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can't motorboat a personality
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
