Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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