You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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