Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
