Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
