i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
