Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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