maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
