i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
