forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
