So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
