If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
