I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
