thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My vagina just clenched in fear
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
