then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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