She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
