she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
