Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
