i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
