you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
