so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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