my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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