FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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