Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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