Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
