i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
